dr_conscience | [ 71st consult

I realize this is a day late, but perhaps that's just as well. At least this way, anything I have to say isn't all dismissed as the result of a curse.

[He pauses slightly before proceeding.]

I realize it can be difficult for some of us - myself included - to find something to be thankful for here, but it isn't impossible. Despite the years I've spent here, I am thankful. I'm thankful for the friends that I do have here, whether they're from home or not. For those who are from home, I'm thankful that I'm here with them, for what little comfort a familiar presence can provide. I know their presence helps me. [And, added with a fond smirk you can clearly hear in his tone:] Mostly.

For those who have left - who have become far too numerous, lately - I'm thankful that I had the chance to know them when they were here. And for those of them who have a safe home to return to, I'm thankful that they're back where they belong.

I know that the City means a lot to some of us here, whether it's another chance at life, a safer home than the one you came from, or an opportunity to build relationships you may not have had otherwise... but even for those of us who'd jump at the first opportunity to get home we were offered, it can be meaningful. Things can happen here which we can be thankful for, people can be here who we're thankful for knowing, and there can be days we appreciate.

All of which, to be clear, isn't to say I'd like to stay another few years. I just hope that everyone can find their silver lining, that we can recognize and appreciate the good moments we do have, and I hope that, whether it's your holiday or not - whether it even exists where you come from - that you all had a happy Thanksgiving.

[ooc: I am here on the hmd for anyone who's so inclined. Apologies if tags get slow, I am being a sloth on my long weekend XD]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

To be fair, I can't entirely blame them. I just find that it's much easier to cope when you don't ignore the brighter moments.

I can't blame them either, but being too upset about the fact that you're stuck here could make people do things they regret, so it's good to have a balance. You can be trying to find every way home possible and still enjoy some of the things this place has to offer.

[ She wonders if that would have saved Mal -- finding a balance, instead of locking away the truth. ]

Edited 2011-11-26 02:12 (UTC)

It very easily can. [ And he's seen it happen, but that was years ago. ]

Really, a balance is always good to have no matter what world you're in, if you can maintain it - which, of course, is always easier to say than to do. I think even just recognizing that's possible might give you an advantage, though.

[ She hasn't seen it here, but she saw the aftermath of Mal's madness and Cobb's guilt. That was more than enough. ]

That's definitely true. [ There's a tilt of her head, though he can't see it, and now a curious lilt to her voice. ] Is that a general 'you'?

Well, you're free to take it specifically since it's applicable.

I just think a lot of people here who are focused on getting home can dwell so much that it makes being here even worse for themselves.

Not just getting home, either. There's also the question of whether this is all real.

Which, of course, nobody here can answer, if you doubt whether the people themselves are real.

Which then gets tricky, because what if the person you know from home isn't that person at all? And what happens if you make friends with someone who's just a figment of your imagination?

You can always ask what other people think, though.

Well, if the City isn't real, wouldn't everyone in it be a figment of your imagination, whether they're from home or not?

Though my own experiences do tell me the City is real, somehow. I have left and come back, which... well, it does a lot to convince you of that.

You would think so. Though that doesn't mean you can't talk to them; if they're part of your subconscious, they may have ideas that you can't reach yet.

How so?

After I arrived initially and spent some time here, I went home. My life picked up right where it had been interrupted initially and a year passed there without my ever realizing that I'd been gone.

Then I wound up here again, and... when I did, the memories came back. They were there, the months I had spent here, only with new memories of the year I'd just been at home on top of them. It's a disconcerting experience, but... though it hasn't stopped them entirely, it's made my doubts about the reality of the City much less prevalent.

[ Picking your life back up isn't new, not when time passes in a dream so much more quickly than it does in reality. But not remembering the dream at all, especially a dream like this, that seems strange -- especially remembering only when you return. ]

And nothing happened back home that you think could have brought you here? An accident, kidnapping, surgery... even just going to sleep?

Originally, I'd fallen asleep, which didn't do anything to help my doubt. When I returned, though, I just walked through a door back home and wound up here.

That must have been quite a surprise. You remember it clearly? Walking through the door, I mean.

I do. Everything gets a bit more convoluted after that, as things started coming back, but arriving was clear.

[He pauses slightly, making a soft shift to ask his own question.]

You haven't been here long, have you?

[ Not like a dream at all, then. ]

No. A little under a month, though apparently I've been here before -- I just don't remember.

Which actually isn't terribly uncommon here, either.

Have you decided yet, what you think this is?

I've heard that, too. It almost makes you wonder if you're the one who's not real.

[ She shakes her head, despite knowing that he can't see her. ] Not yet. I know a lot of people who think it's a dream, but... I'm not so sure.

[ It's maybe the first time she's admitted it to someone other than herself. ]

[He pauses for a moment, considering that.]

I think most of the people I know here here aren't quite sure what they think. Everyone has ideas, of course, but they can always change based on our experiences. I don't think the doubt ever goes away.

[But now his tone changes a little, lighter with more humor to it.]

So, I can't tell you for certain whether I'm real or not, but I'm James Wilson.

I know some very stubborn people, but I think you're right.

[ Even if they won't admit it.

Her tone changes to match, accompanied by a laugh. ]

Ariadne. It's nice to meet you, even if you're possibly imaginary.

And construct of someone's subconscious or not, it's nice to meet you, too.

At least we're polite figments of each other's imagination.

Well, what good is possibly existing without manners?

Good question. I should ask my roommates, see if anything changes. [ They're not actually that bad. ... well, Eames is, sometimes. ]

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